Ankle Brace Association

Sunday April 6th, 2008

2008-04-06T17:18:00.002-04:00

Great turn out today.

Comedians and people who pretend to be comedians:
Wali Collins
Dan Allen
Neil Potter
Seymour Swan
Luke Cunningham
Brian McGuiness
Jeff Cerelli
Willie Morales

Comedy-Related:
Julio
Troy

Original Sunday Crew:
Brian Wilson
Romel
Esquire
Nick "Anderson"

Non-Comedy (Civilians):
Vinny (Luke's friend)
Jimmy (Luke's friend)
Andy (Troy's friend)
Corey

Miraculously, the games started on time. A total of eight full court games to 19 were played today. The first game was in the same spirit of UNC crushing Washington State 68-47 in this year's Sweet Sixteen. Potter, Nick "Anderson", Esquire, Cerelli and Allen easily looked like a first seed team. Their three point ability was unstoppable. If this was a live version of SNES NBA Jam, Cerelli would have been engulfed in flames and the announcer would have cried out, "He's on fire!"

Sadly, that trip to the playoffs ended quickly in the second game just like the date-raping, probably racist Psycho T and his Tar Heels did when they lost to Kansas in the Final Four.

The new team to beat was Cunningham, Seymour, Wilson, Corey and Willie.

They broke (or tied. The ABA staff reporters are review the archives now) new ground in ABA history. They won six consecutive games. They could have made a record and won seven in a row but two of the dynasty team members' testicles atrophied in their body as they threw in the towel and said, "We're tired."

Allen and "Anderson" joined their team and won the final game of the day. Allen was overheard saying, "I didn't realize I was on enemy's team until halfway through. If I would have known in the beginning, I wouldn't have played as hard."

Uncharacteristically for ABA games, there were several arguments, especially in Game 6 (the fifth for the winning team). The score was 18-18. Both teams were extremely tired and had a minimum of six critical turnovers preventing a win. The court became gridlocked with face-to-face arguing over a disagreement of someone who was inside the line but threw it at an opposing player who was out-of-bounds.

Players-in-waiting started to create a fight bracket hoping to see some real punches. Cunningham was a first seed pick since he resembles the wrestler The Undertaker. Even though McGuiness is also 6'6" 225lbs, he was a fourth seed because he resembles Soda Popinski. Oddly, tiny little Wilson (also known as "The Mormon", "Yellow" or "11") was a first seed due to his tenacity.

Fortunately (and unfortunately), no faces were punched and the game continued. There was one more awkward moment when Willie travelled and then was fouled by Esquire.

Other notes:
Allen appreciated Luke's friend Vinnie for coming out and making him feel taller and validated by allowing Allen to deliver a handful of demoralizing blocks.

In a post game interview with Collins, he was appalled by his performance and said, "I can't believe I only made one basket."

MVP:
Tie between Willie and Wilson

WEEK 31 ASTORIA

2006-09-10T15:55:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Rob O'Reilly
Max Lance
Ray Devito
Dan Allen
Brett Anderson
Nate Bargatze
Jay Oakerson
Steve
Jon Fisch

MVP:
Brett Anderson

Recap:
Brett was a force to be reckoned with in the low post. At one point, Nate was trying to gaurd him. Brett's teammates: Rob, Jay and Ray all cleared out, standing at the 3point line and letting Brett take Nate one on one. Several times, Brett scored against his undersized opponent. Finally, Nate gave his team a hilarious pep talk.

"Everybody's just clearing out!" screamed Nate with a Southern twang.

"Yeah, no shit," laughs Jay. "You're trying to gaurd someone two feet taller."

"If we help out, they'll shoot a three," explains Nate's teammate Dan.

"Let them! You'd rather have him take a lay-up?" freaks out Nate.

Finally, the rest of Nate's team helped out on defense and later realized nobody but Jay could hit a three. Nate's squad won the best-of-three rubber match.

Brett Anderson's new animal spirit is the gorilla.

Post by Rob O'Reilly

Week 29 ASTORIA

2006-08-16T18:38:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Rob O'Reilly
Max Lance
Ted Alexandro
Ted's friend Jim
6 random kids

MVP:
Alexandro

Recap:
You could feel it in the hot summer air: hoop dreams. A call to destiny that Ted Alexandro knows all too well.

In the opening game of “21,” O’Reilly took an early 14-5-4 lead against Alexandro and Lance. With fanciful Irish moves and a behind-the-back juke opponents call The O’Reilly Factor, Rob scored his 18th point and thought he had his victory sealed.

But Alexandro had other plans. After Lance’s skillful alley-oop knocked Rob back down to thirteen, Alexandro began dropping rainbows on his leprechaun-like challengers (because of Rob’s ethnicity and Max’s height). Like a pot of gold, his shot was spectacular, and gave him the victory.

In the following games, Alexandro joined an unstoppable alliance with Mike (a tiny black point) and O’Reilly, or “Kurt” as the urban players have deemed him. This “board name” is based on Rob’s goggles being reminiscent of the Lakers’ Kurt Rambis.

At one point, Ted’s team was down 20-10 in a game to 21. Max Lance had made several good jumpers and had led his team to game point. During the comeback of the century, Alexandro dropped 2 threes in a row.

At 20-19 (game point), a heated controversy erupted when Ted’s friend Jim called a foul for using raised arms while boxing out. When Team Alexandro started over with the ball, Mike speedily cut to the basket and made the final lay-up.

Post by Rob O'Reilly

Game Week 28 | MANHATTAN

2006-07-16T23:30:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Potter
Allen
Gurnell
Devito
Seymour
Wali
Shasha
Cody
Scott
Cobb
Nate

MVPs:
Devito and Seymour

Arguments:
In game four of seven, Devito brought his team back into the game with four consecutive three point shots but somehow the opposing team managed to pull of the win. Rumor has it that the opposing team shaved off points from Devito's team to seal their victory.

Other Observations:
Potter and Allen were not pleased with their four wins and three losses. When paired together they normally deliver a powerful force. Something was missing and it was mediocre at best.

Everyone felt better about themselves as they watched Allen make a "fast" break-away for the final basket of the game. Someone said it looked like Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved by the Bell) doing an impression of Gandalf as he slithered side-to-side slowly down the court, came to a dead stop and pogo-sticked jumped straight up and made an easy lay-up.

Game Week 26 | ASTORIA

2006-07-14T10:54:00.000-04:00

Attendence:
Lissow
Alexandro
Devito
Nate
Scott(newcomer)
Allen
Moody
Luis
Dave
Randolf T.
Lance

Play of the Day:
Alexandro saddled up behind the three point line. Being a powerful scorer from that range, the opposing team stepped up their defense. Alexandro recieved a bad pass. Allowing Allen to steal the ball with his left hand and drive by on Alexandro's right side for a fast break-away to the other end of the court. With the speed and agility of the old Shaq moving down court, Allen awkwardly dribbled down to the unguarded basket. Alexandro was hot on his back. Allen slowed his pace as if a wizard had cast a Slow spell and he was wading his way through invisible molasses. He leaped from a two-footed jump stop, slam dunked the ball with two hands, hung on the rim, and yelled a battle cry at the same decibal of Wesley being tortured by the Six-Fingered Man in Princess Bride.

Overheard:
As Allen was running down court someone faintly yelled,"Just let him slam, Ted!"

Other Highlights:
Allen foiled Lance's signature move at the end of the last game. Whenever Lance makes a basket or his team wins a game, he immediately makes a fist, brings his elbow towards his waist and shouts, "Yes!", in the same spirit of Tiger Woods. As he made the game winning basket and was about to go into his rehearsed finishing move, Allen slid underneath the basket and delivered it with the same enthusiasm even though his team lost.

Game Week 26 | WORLD CUP

2006-07-10T17:52:00.000-04:00

Attendence (pathetic):
Anderson
Ronnie
Fisch
Allen
Sanders

Highlights:
ABA got they're asses hand to them in a series four on four full court games with the locals.
They started off strong but the other team was a faster running team.

News:
ABA will resume the Hunter High School game at 11:30 for the next three Sundays.

Game Week 25 | STUYVESANT TOWN

2006-07-05T01:54:00.000-04:00

Attendence:
Brett Anderson
Scott R
Moody
Allen
Dominick Dierkes
Dominick's Friend (??)
Dominick's Friend (Prince Valiant)
Random Stuyvesant Kids

Highlights:
Allen showed up at 1PM. An hour and half later than the scheduled time. He started his trek in Hoboken with the PATH train to 14th and 7th Avenue. There he went down to take the L train to 14th and 3rd to get to his car which he had parked the previous night on 12th Street between 2nd and 3rd Avenue. Unfortunately, he mistakenly jumped on the F train and had to transfer to the uptown train at the Broadway/Lafayette stop. He decided at that it would be best to get out at the Union Square station but somehow he managed to get out at 14th Street and 6th Avenue (only one avenue west of the PATH train entrance). Frustrated, he called Anderson, who was already at the courts, and told him he was running late. Allen finally got on the crosstown M14 bus to 3rd Avenue. He found his car, drove it east, and parked it between Avenue B and Avenue C. He grabbed his sports bag and headed for Stuyvesant Town. Allen walked onto the courts in jeans and dress shoes. He stripped down behind some bushes and changed into to his basketball gear. The ABA players were mildly annoyed by his tardiness but seem accepting of his excuse once they discovered it was because he was distracted by the attention of a female.

Game Week 25 | STUYVESANT TOWN

2006-07-02T11:30:00.000-04:00

A lot of ABA players are suffering from withdrawl syndromes from not
being able to play on Sundays and rain outs.

The ABA staff is working around the clock to find another location
for the summer.

We are going to try to play at the Stuyvesant Town basketball courts.
http://www.pcvst.com/amenities_rec.asp

They have plexiglass backboards, breakaway rims, and keep the courts
clean.

LOCATION:
Walk to 14th and Avenue B and head northwest into the apartment
complex.
http://www.pcvst.com/location.asp

MAP OF STUYVESANT TOWN:
Cut and paste the link below to get a detailed map of the complex.
Click on "Basketball"
http://www.pcvst.com/map.asp

ABA is constantly updating our player's contact information.

Please email all your info:
Mobile
Email address
Website

Also, anyone interested in playing this Sunday please email me for a
head count.

Thanks,
Dan
dan@taoofdan.com

http://taoofdan.com (read it)

Game Week 24 | ASTORIA

2006-06-21T13:00:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Jon Fisch
Dan Allen
Big Jay Oakerson
Oakerson's friend (Luis)
Oakerson's friend (Dave)
Rondell
Andy Campbell
Jeremy Schachter
Ted Alexandro
Max Lance

Players with Most Consectutive Wins (5):
Fisch, Allen, Rondell, and Dave

Injuries:
None.

Highlights:
Fisch suggested they break up the Power Four to make the teams fair. Campbell was appalled by this offer and refused to be intimidated by Fisch's Potter-esque tactics. The opposing (0-5) team finally brought the dynasty down on the sixth game.

It must also be noted that there was a slight mismatch with Fisch covering Lance. Although Lance has proven himself as a tenacious player with tremendous amount of speed and endurance with an occassional three-pointer shot and the ability to penetrate the lane, he simply was not big enough to play Fisch. Someone on the sidelines remarked, "Why is Frodo playing Gandalf?"

Game Week 23 | ASTORIA

2006-06-14T13:22:00.000-04:00

No highlights.

ABA's sport reporter has been distracted by the intoxicating pheromones of an exotic carbon-based life form of the XX persausion.

Game Week 22 | MANHATTAN

2006-06-10T12:01:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Neil Potter
Dan Allen
Moody
Ronny
Sanders
Ray Devito
Shawn Basler
Keith Basler
Sandy Marks (did not play)

Players with Five Consecutive Wins:
Potter
Allen
Sanders
Devito

Players with Five Consecutive Losses:
Moody
Ronny
Shawn Basler
Keith Basler

Potter used the same psychological demoralzing tactic from last week and asked the opposing team if they wanted to switch the players to make it fair. He suggested Allen for Moody. The team declined the offer and took their loss at least with the dignity of unity.

MVP:
Allen*. He dominated the boards with offensive and defensive rebounds and tipping in missed shots. The opposing team tried three different defenders (both Basler brothers and Ronny) but each one ran into the same problem.

Injuries:
Miraculously, none this game.

*Some speculate that Allen's nomination was due to the fact that he has a close relationship with the ABA founders. An investigation into these allegations have been put into motion.

taoofdan.com
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Game Week 21 | MANHATTAN

2006-06-04T11:30:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Neil Potter
Gurnell
Seymour Swan
Max Lance
Dan Allen
Sandy Marcus
Ted Alexandro
Moody
Fisch
Erik Rivera

Players with Five Consecutive Wins:
Potter
Lance
Swan

Players with Five Consecutive Losses:
Rivera
Moody
Alexandro

Allen was traded on the third game for Marks to make the teams even. His teammates felt he was the cancer of team and wanted him to be removed. Potter said, "We can't afford Marks anymore but we will still appreciate what Allen could possibly bring to the team." Allen was very disappointed with his former teammates and vowed that he would not bring his new team down. Allen proclaimed, "Don't worry. Now I have a fire inside to beat them!" Alexandro piped in, "Hopefully you'll be able to find that fire. You look despondent."

MVP:
Sandy Marks. Even though he was traded on the third game and took two losses, he dominated under the boards (offense and defense) on both teams.

Injuries:
Marks dealt out two unintentional elbow blows to Swan's and Allen's faces.

Play of the Day:
On the last game of the five game series, the defending champions were able to hold their opponents at 17 points (game to 19) for 8 possessions and finally delivered a bucket to win.

taoofdan.com
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Game Week 21 | ASTORIA

2006-05-31T12:10:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Jon Fisch
Dan Allen
Big Jay Oakerson
Oakerson's friend (Luis?)
Gary Gulman
Tim Young
Rondell
Jeremy Schachter
Jamie Lissow
Tim Young
Randolf
Stan
Josh G.
Guy in Pittsburgh Shirt

MVPs:
Lissow was on fire.

Randolph for having a car/ambulance. (see Injuries)

Injuries:
A catastrophic incident occured on a routine lay-up by Young during a five-on-five full court game. Prior to that moment, Young was playing hard and vying for MVP again. Unfortunately, that attempt was crushed when he landed on a defender's shoe and rolled his ankle. Game play stopped immediately and all the players circled around. Everyone seemed to be in their own world as they stared at Young's trembling leg. Being comedians, everyone was silently vowing to themselves that they would get their shit together in case they were struck by this same tragedy.

Fisch began to ask if anyone had a car to transport Young to the hospital. Randolph volunteered his vehicle. Gulman and Fisch carried Young to the Randolph's car. Allen went with Randolf and Young. Once Young was dropped off at his doctor, Allen selfishly told Young that he needed to leave for an audition he just received from his manager. Young said he'd be alright and would call Randolph once his doctor was done.

Turned out that Young had broken his ankle in two places, which was horrible timing since he had nine spots this weekend at The Cellar, Gotham, Dangerfield's and The Strip.

A couple younger comics couldn't empathize with his situation because they only get nine spots every month. They felt it was like a person complaining about Final Four tickets in the nosebleed section (boo-hoo).

Overheard:
When they were carrying Young off, Schachter was heard saying, "What's the score? 10-12? He didn't make that last shot? We're still playing right?"

Once everyone realized it was actually broken, Young's datebook become an injured cow in the pirhana-infested Amazon.

Oakerson decided to call The Cellar.

Fisch and Gulman played "Rock-Paper-Scissors" for his Gotham and Strip spots

Schachter and Lissow called their college agent and instructed him to go to Tim's website for his schedule.

Game Week 20 | ASTORIA

2006-05-24T12:00:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Jon Fisch
Dan Allen
Big Jay Oakerson
Nate
Ted Alexandro
Max Lance
Moody
Rondell
Keith Alberstadt
Jeremy Schachter
Tim Young
Randolf

Team with the Most Wins:

Five on Five
Fisch, Lance, Oakerson, Young, and Schachter (3 out 5 games)

Three on Three
Fisch, Young, and Nate (2 out of 3)

MVPs:
Young. Although this was his first game of the season, he was able to dominate in the paint and pounded out some threes. His publicist said he will play more once his face mask is complete. Young chipped a subatomic-size piece of tooth last year during a run-in with Lissow's elbow(which was odd because Lissow is so low to the ground). The mask is being fabricated in India out of non-petroleum based, recyclable plastic. Young said his pre-game secret was stretching and meditating to the sound of whales masturbating.

Injuries:
Some speculated that while attempting a lay-up, Alberstadt stepped on the exposed bolts securing the post to the ground and others thought he had hit his knee on the post. Alberstadt went down immediately and rolled around holding his leg while shrieking in pain. Oakerson was heard saying, "Hey Moody don't be so happy just because you get to play now." Everyone can agree Moody is an opportunist. It turned out that Alberstadt was just suffering from recurring patella problem. Randolph seemed extremely confident that his skilled hands could massage the problem away. Things got uncomfortable as he gently worked the inner thigh region. The players kept reminding Randolph that Alberstadt's knee was the problem. Lance uncharacteristically bought (with his own money) a bag of ice to alleviate the pain. Allen was surprised by his monetary generosity and brought it to Lance's attention. Lance responded, "You're such asshole."

Arguments:
Lance was adamant that the final score of one game was 16-8 not 16-4 (which Allen had erroneously announced numerous times). Allen then said, "Okay Max, whatever you say. How about sixteen to fifteen point nine nine repeating? You know what? You still lost."

Sidenote:
Lance had to leave to watch a Jennifer Aniston movie. He offered everyone a free ticket to join him. All the players awkwardly looked away. One player actually pulled his waistband forward to make sure he still had testicles. Once he confirmed that they were in fact intact, he realized Lance must have been directing that offer to someone else.

Game Week 19

2006-05-21T23:30:00.000-04:00

Attendence:
Neil Potter
Sean Basler
Wali Collins
Seymour Swan
Dan Allen
Moody McCarthy
Brian
Yasha
Gurnell
Nick "Anderson"

Team with the Most Wins:
Potter, Collins, Seymour, Yasha, and Allen

4 out of 5 (not consectutive)

Still no team has been able to pull off five wins in a row.

Plays of the Day:
Inspired by watching Hoosiers the night before, Allen called out the "Picket Fence" on the last basket of the final game. Collins swung around the fence and didn't watch the paint dry. He drained a perimeter shot for the comeback win (20-16). Collins said he didn't want to do the play becuase he thought Hoosiers was a racist movie about some white kids beating some black kids.

Gurnell actually passed to a team member. Both teams were in shock and cried in unison, "Wow. Great pass?"

Injuries:
Collins was playing with an injured left hand and was gouged in the eye.

McCarthy's butter finger ball handling was due to the fact that he was operating on 2 hours of sleep.

Allen's right hand is still at 60% from last week's game.

taoofdan.com

Game Week 18 | Mother's Day

2006-05-14T00:56:00.000-04:00

Game on.

Game Week 17 | CANCELLED

2006-05-07T16:30:00.000-04:00

Games will resume next week.

Game Week 17 | ASTORIA

2006-05-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Jon Fisch
Dan Allen
Moody McCarthy
Nate
Jeremy Schachter (first game of the season)
Ray Devito
Keith Alberstadt (newcomer)
Tim Homayoon
Matt Taylor

Team with the Most Wins:
Fisch, Moody, Homayoon

Team with the Least Amount of Wins:
Jeremy Schachter
Dan Allen
Nate

MVPs:
Schachter. Even though he couldn't bring his team enough points to win, his performance was 100% better than last season.

Injuries:
Newcomer Alberstadt blasted McCarthy in the upper lip. Fortunately, Fisch had some napkins and McCarthy was able to stop the bleeding. It was determined nothing was broken.

The game was being commented by a thugged out version of the infamous Muppet duo, Statler and Waldorf. Although, these armchair players were extremely annoying their observations were dead on and fucking hilarious.

They decided to give play-by-play description of the game and giving each player a nickname based on their physical appearence.

Ray Devito...Ben Stiller
Tim Homayoon...Bill Gates
Matt Taylor...Andre Agassi
Dan Allen...Dirk Nowitzki or White Mutombo
Keith Alberstadt...Andy Roddick (who knew thugs played tennis)

taoofdan.com
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Game Week 16 | MANHATTAN

2006-04-30T11:30:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Peter Fishman
Ken (Fishman's friend)
Tom Van Horn
Dan Allen
Sean Basler
Brian
Gurnell
Wali Collins
Dr. Esquire
Seymour Swan
Justin Sanders
Brett Anderson
Brent
Romo
Sandy Marcus

Team with the Most Consecutive Wins:
Potter (scorer)
Allen (blocker)
Collins (assister)
Brian (three-pointers)
Sanders (stealer)

Being like every other team vying for the record of five games in the row. This team had all the ingredients to do it, but that dream was squashed on their fourth game.

MVP:
Brian. He incredibly overcame his vertically challenged stature and dominated inside and out the three point line.

MVP in the First Game:
Fishman came out with his guns blazing. Blocked Allen twice, made a few fast-paced lay-ups, and hit a turn around perimeter shot.

Arguments:
Marks and Potter had to go head-to-head three times in the gay version of Jump Ball called "Odds or Evens".

Injuries:
Collins (a lefty) announced that his left hand was injured before the game even started and did not want it to be reported as a game injury.

Play of the Day:
Sanders blasted out a three for the win while being heavily defended.

Unplay of the Day:
Allen's ego was pseudo-ly lifted as he caught a bullet pass from Potter on a fast break and ran in front of Basler. He attempted a two handed dunk for the first time this season. The bleachers emptied and everyone stood to see Allen's first dunk. Sadly, he was a half and inch to the right and the ball ricocheted off the rim. He hung onto the rim for a moment before he loosened his grip and fell to the floor. Though he failed the attempt, Allen has finally shown that there is a glimmer of hope of fufilling his ultimate destiny.

taoofdan.com
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Game Week 16 | ASTORIA

2006-04-26T00:00:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Jon Fisch
Dan Allen
Ray Devito
Jesse Joyce
Big Jay Oakerson
Kurt Metzger
Nate
Todd "Had Lunch Next to Fred Savage" Womack
Tim Homayoon
Matt Taylor
Dave Siegel
Ted Alexandro
Max Lance

MVPs:
Fisch and Womack. Although to be fair, many players couldn't tell them apart and they both received assists from the opposing team.

PWTAOTS (Player Who Took Advantage of the Situation):
Initially Homayoon and Metzger was an even match. When Homayoon was matched against Joyce that balance was shifted. Normally, Joyce's name is synonymous with smoking, but he was well aware that he could use his height and perimeter shot to dominate Homayoon. At 6'4", Joyce towered over Homayoon and miraculously became the leading scorer and changed the outcome of several games.

Arguments:
None.

Game Week 15

2006-04-23T11:30:00.000-04:00

No highlights this week

Game Week 14 | PAGANISM

2006-04-16T12:14:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Jon Fisch
Moody McCarthy
Sandy Marcus
Dan Allen
Ray Devito
Andy Campbell
Wali Collins
Pete Fishman
Ken (Fishman's friend)
Matt (Matarese's third cousin)

Team that Lost that Should have Won:
Marks, Allen, Fishman, Fisch, McCarthy

Players who were NOT injured or in pain:
Jon Fisch
Sandy Marcus
Wali Collins
Ken

Players who were injured or in pain:
McCarthy
Had his left eyebrow cut by Fisch. Potter patched it with a band-aid.

Campbell
Shoulder problem
(No one could tell if it was dislocated because his shoulder has always looked dislocated)

Allen
Poked in the eye by Potter and elbowed in the face by Fishman
(Left the court with a possible black-eye)

Matt
Had to be subbed out in the first game because of a hip problem. Fortunately, his prostate problem didn't flair up as well.

Devito
Dealing with lower back problems from playing outdoors on pavement.

Fishman
Cambell subbed in when Fishman had problems breathing. For some odd reason, he forgets to breathe when he jumps around. Normally Marcus, his childhood friend, is very hard on Fishman's performance, verbally nursed him back to health by saying, "Come on Petey, don't sit down, walk around...breathe...breathe. " It was uncharacteristic of Marcus, but an enlightening insight to the deep bond between these two men. An ambiguously gay moment or an act of brotherly love? No one knows for certain.

Potter:
Was operating at 70% due to a groin pull. Syrians are reknowned for having weak testicles.

Marcus:
Angst + Allergies = More Cantankerous than Normal Lenny

MVP:
Jesus! He died for our sins for Christ's sake.

MVP for basketball:
Devito. He took full advantage of the ineffective 3-2 zone and drained threes throughout the day.

Arguments:
None.

taoofdan.com

Game Week 14 | First Outdoor Game

2006-04-12T12:02:00.000-04:00

Attendence:
Moody
Fisch
Big Jay
Allen
Randolf
DeVito
3 Local Kids from Queens
Artful Dodger

Team with Most Consectutive Wins:
Fisch, Oakerson, DeVito, Little Guy with Braces

MVP:
Fisch. His spaz-tacular performance was inspiring and frightening at the same time.

Injuries:
None

Un-Highlights:
A 17 year old senior who plays on the Long Island City High School's basketball team stole Allen's Treo phone. Allen went to the local police station across the street and the officers suggested that Allen walk around the apartments and give the adolescent the justice he deserves. Big Jay Oakerson didn't think that would be a good idea. Oakerson felt that not only would Allen be out of a phone, but also humiliated by a severe beatdown from a 17 year old kid.

Game Week 13

2006-04-09T23:30:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Max Lance
Dan Allen
Wali Collins
Collin Moulton
Seymour Swan
Corey
Jack Kukoda
Justin Sanders
Nick "Anderson"
Ray Devito
Ted Alexandro
Steve Marshall (sort of)

Team with Most Consectutive Wins:
Potter, "Anderson", Corey, Allen, Kukoda

MVP:
Seymour Swan continues to penetrate the lane.

Highlights:
Nick received his moniker "Anderson" because he consistently delivered his silent but unguarded three point shot last season. Although, it took him seven fortnights to redeem himself. He proved his ability to drain it from the outside by hitting a three for the win under intense defensive pressure.

Newcomer Moulton (a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) seemed more at home on a wrestling mat. He guarded Colins as if he was going to attack him like Gracie in an Ultimate Fighting Match. The crowd enjoyed his acrobatic, theatrical, lay-ups. One commented that it looked like he was skipping through a field of dandelions while flying a kite on a spring day.

Marshall arrived at 2:30PM and said, "I'm just going to go in there and fuck around." Confused, Potter had to go back and retrieve him since the gym was locked. No one could speculate who he was going to "fuck" around with. Some suggested the janitor.

Injuries:
Lance had to get his fingers taped up. Marcus knocked his knees on a hard roll to the floor. Swan almost had his eyes gouged out but was able to play. Anderson emailed ABA and reported he definitely has a small scar on his upper lip from his run-in with Allen's elbow.

Allen struggled Sunday after last week's fluke of consectutive three-pointers. Rumors have been leaked that he had trained with the Jason McElwain, the highly fuctioning autistic high school student from Rochester. We'll see if he can bring that back into his game.

taoofdan.com

Game Week 12 | CANCELLED

2006-04-02T16:37:00.000-04:00

No game this week.

We will resume back next week on April 8th

Game Week 11 | PRE-PASSOVER

2006-03-26T11:30:00.000-05:00

Attendance:
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Max Lance
Dan Allen
Andy
Ben
Wali Collins
Seymour Swan
Big Jay Oakerson
Nate
Kurt "Marlboro Lights" Metzger
Jack Kukoda
Justin Sanders
Rondell
Dr. Esquire
Romo
Gurnell
Sean Basler
Pete Fishman
Fishman's friend

Teams with the Most Consecutive Wins:
Collins, Esquire, Seymour, Allen, Lance

Play of the Day:
Normally, ineffective as an offensive player Allen was uncharacteristically draining threes throughout the day. During the last game, the score was 16-17 with the opposing team in the lead. They only needed two points to win the game. With a missed opportunity and a change of possession, Allen's team pushed the ball to the other end. The paint was full of defenders. Big Jay had called a 3-2 Zone defense. Allen stepped out to the top of the key, Collins looked back at Allen and mouthed, "Are...you...sure you want to do that?" Allen nodded, Esquire fed him the ball. Undefended, he launched the ball into a grand arc that hit nothing but net and defeated the opposing team. 19-17.

Injuries:
Potter's new BioSkin ankle braces are still creating a problem. He had to be subbed out during his second game. He's hasn't been himself since he got it. He's seriously considering going back to his old McDavid brace.

Newcomer Metzger almost made it through an entire game, but requested to be subbed out during the last quarter of his first game.

MVPs:
Newcomer Jack Kukoda and Justin Sanders

Arguments:
Marcus adamantly argued against a foul called against him by Collins. Collin's teammates rallied behind his call and made allegations that Marcus was reknowed for 'playing dirty'.

Rondell disagreed with an out of bounds call. It was determined that he was "in" but he passed it to a player that was "out".

Funds Raised to Date:
$560
Thanks to all who have donated

taoofdan.com

Game Week 10 | CANCELLED

2006-03-19T17:06:00.000-05:00

The game will resume next week on March 26th

Game Week 9

2006-03-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

No Highlights(sorry)

Game Week 8

2006-03-05T11:30:00.000-05:00

Attendence:
Perfect!
Neil Potter
Moody McCarthy
Jon Fisch
Seymor
Wali Collins
Dan Allen
Ted Alexandro
Max's Friend
Max's Friend's brother
Brett Anderson
Nick Cobb
Justin Sanders
Jurnell (??)

Play of the Day:
Alexandro teleported between two defenders on a fast-paced drive to the basket. Some suspect that he is related to X-Men's Nightcrawler.

MVPs:
Seymor and Potter

MIP (Most Invaluable Player):
Allen. He seemed confident in the pre-game warm-up. He indicated to several players his awareness of his lack of offense. He informed them he had watched Sport Skool on Channel 1024 OnDemand for two hours focusing on offensive fundamentals. Unfortunately, he didn't apply any of the skills that he had supposedly "learned". Although ineffective scoring-wise, he did managed to repeatedly block the fuck out of Cobb down below the basket.

Arguments:
Back courting was called, but dismissed.

Injuries:
Anderson's money maker was almost compromised this Sunday. Battling for the a rebound, his face collided with Allen's elbow. Most feared that he had broken his nose, he was rushed to Potter's office for medical attention. Fortunately, the injury was sustained to a minor cut on the upper lip. Cobb was subbed in. Anderson came back in the next game. There has been a long standing rivalry between Anderson and Allen. When asked about their relationship, Allen responded, "I definately think he's better basketball player, but I'm funnier."

Total Donations to Date:
$400

Game Week 7 | Sausage Festival

2006-02-26T13:57:00.000-05:00

Attendence (22):
The State of Rhode Island
1/17 th of all my MySpace friends
Potter's Urban League (5)
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Peter Fishman
Moody McCarthy
Jon Fisch
Dan Allen
Romo
"Nick Anderson"
Big Jay Oakerson
Nate
Bryan
Jason Sanders
Reggie McFadden
Max's friends (3)
Tim H.

Team with Most Consectutive Wins:
Potter, McCarthy, Marcus, Fisch, and Romo
4

The power five "claimed" they would sit out a game out of consideration of the other losing players. Experts disagreed, they noticed that the team's median age was 35 and was extremely exhausted and just wanted to take a rest.

Play of the Day:
Too much chaos to notice anything spectacular.

Arguments:
None. Max Lance found God in Israel and is now hugging instead of shaking hands when he greets people.

Injuries:
None. Although Aspen* took a hard fall and took a solid knock to the knee, he got right back up. When asked if he wanted to be subbed out, he replied,"Fuck that, I don't want to be blogged about in the 'Injuries' section." Other players were concerned about getting in contact with the blood dripping from his knee. There have been allegations from other comics that his bedroom in his upper west side apartment is a revolving door of fast women from questionable backgrounds. Aspen is not only a player but a playa as well.

*Lenny Marcus

taoofdan.com

Game Week 6

2006-02-19T13:24:00.000-05:00

Attendence:
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Peter Fishman
Moody McCarthy
Dan Allen
Wali Collins
Mike Burton
"Nick Anderson"
Shawn "Big Guy" Basler
Seymour Swan
Big Jay Oakerson
Mike

Team with Most Consectutive Wins:
Potter, McCarthy, Marcus, Fishman, and Burton
3

Play of the Day:
McCarthy created the momentum for three straight wins when he fired off an amazing, clutch three pointer in the first game. The game ended with a score of 19 to 17.

Arguments:
None. We anticipate arguments to ensue next week once Max Lance returns from Israel.

Injuries:
Allen's ego. Allen shut Potter down to only 2 points in the first game, but Potter answered back in the next two games with 8 three pointers.

Game Week 5 | Blizzard!

2006-02-12T14:09:00.000-05:00

Attendence:
Neil Potter
Lenny Marcus
Peter Fishman
Moody McCarthy
Dan Allen

Team with Most Wins:
Potter-Marcus:
5

Allen-McCarthy:
3

Play of the Day:
Wearing his 93' Rec-Specs goggles, Fishman blasted Marcus's (his childhood foe) attempt to make an easy lay up under the basket. The way Fishman hit the ball, one would be led to believe that the ball had molested him as a child. Needless to say, possession returned back to Marcus-Potter because it was clearly out of bounds as it hit the wall of the gym.

Arguments:
A goal tending call was made when Allen slapped the backboard while the ball was still on the rim.

Injuries:
None.

Game Week 4 | CANCELLED

2006-02-05T15:44:00.000-05:00

Postponed.

Will resume next week on February 12th.

Game Week 3

2006-01-29T13:50:00.000-05:00

Attendence:
Neil Potter
Sandy Marks
Max Lance
Tim Young
Romo
Dan Allen
Peter Fishman
Shawn "Big Guy" Basler
Little but Skilled Guy (see above)
Lenny Marcus
Tom Van Horn
Wali Colins
Dr. Esquire
"Nick Anderson"
Craig Baldo

Play of the Day:
Marcus soared from the top of the key like a pterodactyl and blocked the younger version of himself, Max Lance, from behind as Lance went up for a lay-up.

Arguments:
Young called a foul and made a basket. Potter said that the basket didn't count and Young's team was to retain possesion of the ball. Young's team disagreed and a debate ensued for five agonizing minutes.

Injuries:
Baldo back from a two year hiatus from basketball started off strong with a solid rebound and muscled in for a difficult lay-up. On defense, he unfortunately came down hard and rolled his ankle.

Game Week 2

2006-01-22T13:42:00.000-05:00

No game this week, will resume next Sunday (January 29th).

Game Week 1

2006-01-15T16:16:00.000-05:00

Attendence:
Neil Potter
Sandy Marks
Moody McCarthy
Jon Fisch
Max Lance
Tim Young
Romo
Nick
Brett Anderson
Dan Allen
Dan
Don Weir
Dominic Dierkes
Ray Devito

The team that seemed unstoppable was Neil, Sandy, Moody, Fisch, and Max.

MVP:
Sandy Marks

Injuries:
Fisch sustained a hard knock to the knee, but was able to come back.

NO GAME NEXT WEEK!

It will resume the following week at 11:30AM

-dan

2006 ABA Season Begins

2006-01-08T17:06:00.000-05:00

Hoops will start up Sunday Jan. 15th.

Since there will be NFL playoffs, we are going to start a little early

Hunter College High School
71 E. 94th and Park Ave.
11AM

$10 suggested donation for the gym use
(all proceeds goes to the school sports fund)

Week 30 ASTORIA

2005-08-24T00:22:00.000-04:00

Attendance:
Rob O'Reilly
Ted Alexandro
Max Lance
Dan Allen
Scott Rogowsky
Jim
Steve
Frank

MVP:
Max Lance

Recap:
In several 4-on-4 games, a team comprised of Ted, Rob, Steve and a quick younger kid named Jason was nearly unstoppable. Their teamwork, combined with Ted's shot and Jason's speed, won 3 games in a row. Once Dan Allen came to the court, delayed by getting back-ended (and also getting into a car accident), Ted's team still won against the Goliath of ABA. But Dan was not happy, and took out his vehicular aggression during the final game. The poet comedian caused the same result he does at most comedy shows, upsetting half the people there. With the help of the speedy Max Lance, who’s “flying backboard shot” was working all day, Dan’s squad broke up the dynasty.

I’ve decided to assign animal spirits to the regular ABA players.

Max Lance = Flying Squirrel (because of his flying backboard shot

Dan Allen = Giraffe (He's tall, skinny, blonde, and eats vegetables

Moody McCarthey = Cougar (There's nothing flashy, but he gets the job done)

Jay Oakerson = Baby Bear (He's large man who's very nice)

Keith Alberstadt = Hyena (Nice/laughing on the outside, but a killer within

Neil Potter = Bald Eagle (He's a leader and has great vision. And oh yeah, he's American

Ronnie Khalil = Camel (He's Arab

Rob O'Reilly = Fly (I have more than two eyes. Plus, I'm ugly and smell like shit

Jon Fisch = Injured Kitten

Post by Rob O'Reilly